guess how I get to look for six weeks
(tumblr dashboard enthusiasts: click through to see all the hotlinked imgs I slaved over)
guess what my body got me for an early 30th b-day prezz
guess
gues
gue
.
today I woke up and looked like this:
HANDSOME
and also, I had Bell’s Palsy. Just like Miss Teen Britain!
ATTRACTIVE
anyway yeah. I woke up this morning and my face didn’t function in the manner I’ve grown accustomed to. Bell’s Palsy! A real thing, that happened to me, this morning. It is happening to me as I type this right now, in my self. i Has it.
I looked like I was surprised to hear it
but really my eyebrows were just on wrong. also my smile is all Cheneyesque
I thought it was a maybe a like a i dunno like a pinched nerve or something, and I could just play it cool and uh something. Then I drooled on myself at work. so
The doctor (I have insurance) said WELL IAN (my first name is Ian)
- There’s nothing we can do but let it run its course
- It’s going to get worse before it gets better (in six weeks-ish)
- Here are a shitload of pills which you must take constantly to properly effect that ‘nothing we can do’ that we mentioned in #1, also they have a bunch of side effects
- Get some shades, narc! (note: they did not call me a narc, but did recommend that I acquire some sunglasses, since my left eye doesn’t really close now)
I wasn’t really surprised () I suppose
y’know
I’ll be 30 in 30 days
I have 29 more days of being 29
and it seems a part of me has been waiting for shit to start falling off
arms and things
just bracing itself and champing itself up for it
and that part has now risen to the surface
and said hey chill out
you love your life
and you have essentially zero other problems
go eat some chocolate and set up your 401k and consider blogging more often
and, yeah. truth.
[drop curtain]
hey but also
[raise curtain back up]
turns out having a neurological disorder is every bit as pants-shittingly terrifying as you’d think!
even a temporary one with a low occurrence of second episodes. even the one you’d pick if you had to pick a neurological disorder
it’s like my fucking house is haunted
except I can’t just fucking leave because I’m LIVING in here MAN (also on the internet)
not that anybody ever leaves a haunted house, because then whoa short movie
also I have this eye gel
NOT EYE DROPS
eye GEL
EYE ——— GEL
that I have to pulprptz into my eyeball at night now
so my eyeball doesn’t dry up like a craisin
since my left eye doesn’t really do the closing thing so much
as of this morning
and it’s going to get worse before it gets better
it’s going to get not closeder before it gets closeder
for six weeks
assuming my face-paralyzing surprise neurological malfunction goes according to plan, har har
grooosssssssssigh.
Anyway, this google image search is amazing .
**
FUN TO BE WITH**
I always sorta fetishized asymmetricality actually 
. I was so psyched when I realized my nostrils aren’t symmetrical (when I was like 25)
so that’s cool
and also I get to pretend like I am too noble to talk about my problems, now that I have a problem to be too noble to talk about
channing’s personality-defining ridiculousness will take all comers
whoa I just sneezed! it was weird
The Great Muppet Caper showing at Woody's sounds great (Eastlake represent! although wow, I miss being able to say "I live in the Parkway District") -- any chance of getting the event info posted somewhere that can be viewed by people who don't have Facebook accounts? I don't have one, don't want one, and am not going to sign up for one -- but I'd love to come to the movie.
Regards, Lexica
Regards, Lexica
AnonymousOh, I didn’t realize the event couldn’t be viewed by non-Facebookers — probably that’s the only time Facebook will be TOO private. Well, how about this handy flyer? There’s paper copies at Woody’s, too. Hope to see you tonight!
new photos on facebook. Seems like I would have photographed more humans, being in New York City and all. uh
